Most people believe that obesity is purely a result of over-eating and that if I had just pushed my plate back, I wouldn’t be in this situation. This is not the case. In our society, obesity is frowned upon more than drug addiction.

When someone experiences trauma, they reach out to comfort themselves in various ways. Eating junk food was my main way to cope with pain in my life. I didn’t eat many meals, but when I did, fruits and vegetables were not part of them.

There were times  that I didn’t want to live. I was hopeless with no purpose and felt unloved. I dealt with molestation, rape, food and sex addiction, narcotic and alcohol abuse, and homelessness (among other issues). These things consumed me and I continued to gain weight. After reaching over 450lbs, I found myself disabled with many dangerous health conditions, including high-blood pressure, chronic back pain, rheumatoid arthritis, keratoconus (a degenerative disorder of the eye), and the latest diagnosis, lupus.

I knew this wasn’t a normal way to live and I had grown accustomed to hiding my pain. I became overwhelmed by all of this and I’ve realized that I’ve settled for a life that will soon kill me. The chances of my dreams coming true seem to be more and more elusive.

I haven’t lost hope, though. I still have at least a mustard seed faith. A guest speaker from my church told me that I’m a success story and that many will read about me in newspapers and magazines.  Not only will I be delivered  and lose this weight, but I will inspire many and change lives. This isn’t an easy road, but I’m fighting for my life so I can fight for others, too.