I’ve finally come to the conclusion that, though this thing I’m typing in is a WordPress “blogging mechanism”, I’m not really a “blogger”. I haven’t looked up a definition of one (if there is such a thing), but I’m almost sure that I lack the main characteristic a blogger should posses – consistency. I admit it. I don’t get on here so much. There are a lot of reasons, I guess. One reason is that I don’t want to put undue pressure on myself to say something when I don’t have anything useful to say. I love interacting with the Fight for Your Life Family on Facebook. It meets a real need for me.  The one-on-one contact I have with you really blesses my soul. You all are why I keep fighting. You are my family. I dare not call it a fan page. I don’t get the fan thing. It kind of weirds me out. You guys know what the page is for and I honestly don’t want to be the focus of it. It’s not about me. It’s all about you.

But you know that.

I think I refrain from writing sometimes because I feel like if post for posting’s sake, it’s like saying “I love you”, too much. I’d say you could never say it enough, but I really do feel like saying it too much causes the words to lose their value. But that’s just my weird perception of things. The cool thing about writing is, if you’re writing for your own satisfaction or to share yourself with others, there are no hard and fast rules. Sure, you want people to want to read and look for your writing. Being consistent is preferential because people come to expect it and are ready for it when it comes. That being said, I’m finding out that whenever I share, there’s always someone watching. I might never know it, but those who need to see it, do. I came to this conclusion this week.

I have a good friend named Roy. I’ve known him for a few years now and we’ve been through a lot together. We were co-workers and I used to spend a lot of time with he, his wife, and their kids. They were like family to me. They accepted me completely and always made me feel at home when I visited them. I love his children like my own. We have a very special bond.

A couple of years ago, I watched him endure something that most couldn’t have lived through. Think of the man in the Bible named Job. His family was taken from him, his friends deserted him, his body was stricken. Now think about this happening to someone in this day and time. This “someone” would be Roy. I watched it all. I cried with him, I prayed with him, I hurt with him, and watched him change inside. He lived through it all. He fought and prayed and he made it.

In the process of trying to start over and establish himself in a new city, he’d gained some weight. He and I had talked so many times in the past about our need to be healthier. When I visited his family, they would always work to accommodate my dietary needs. I loved them for that and I had so much fun cooking with the girls and making trips to Central Market in San Antonio. When things went awry with his family, I can imagine that the stress he endured contributed to his weight gain.

This is Roy in August of last year. Soon after this picture was taken, he had a major medical setback; a gastrointestinal issue that landed him in the hospital. He had to have surgery to correct the issue and it was a major wake-up call for him.

Roy called me last week at work. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but we’re the kind of friends who don’t need to talk everyday. He told me a lot of things, but in the middle of the conversation, he told me he’d sent me some pictures. They’re the ones I’m using in this post. He said that he’d lost 65 lbs since the picture above was taken, and then he got really quiet. I thought the call had dropped. I called his name and he said (his voice trembling), “yeah, I’m still here”. Then he paused again and said, “I just get so excited”. I was so excited for him. I know how it feels to accomplish something you’ve tried to do for so long. I know the freedom that improved health can give, but what he said next caught me off guard. “Angel, you inspired me to lose this weight. I feel like I was able to this because of you”. I was stunned. Then, I was stunned that I was stunned.

When I started doing this, I figured I would spend my life helping people change their lives like mine was changed. So much has changed now and in the process, I stopped looking for my own inspiration. I tired of the groups and the websites and the forums. I just stopped looking. I just focused on interacting on the page and posting every now and then.

Tanita called me and she’s so excited about her journey. Things are finally coming together for her and I’m so happy for her. She sounds very happy and she’s enjoying the meal replacement shakes that Fight for Your Life is providing for her. Just hearing her enthusiasm and excitement in the face of all she’s dealing with on a daily basis, inspires me.

My friend, Olivia, called me today and told me that all of the nurses on her overnight shift in Huntsville, AL are eating better and losing weight after going back and reading the posts on the website. One lady could even relate to the difficulty I had with an incompetent cervix and how the doctor told her that she couldn’t have kids until she lost weight. Her husband left her because of this. That’s amazing to me. I’d never heard of anyone who’d had the same experience. I was completely amazed AND inspired.

This is Roy now, 65 lbs lighter.

When I saw this picture, you could have knocked me over with a feather. How awesome is this? I was smiling from ear to ear. I am so proud of him for his dedication. I’m happy about his progress. Seeing him this happy and knowing where he’s come from warms my heart. Knowing that there are people out there fighting makes me want to keep fighting. Knowing that I had even a little bit to do with inspiring them to fight, inspires me